It’s Okay to Not Be Okay (And Break Stuff)
Some weeks are just… a lot.
We don’t always realize we’re spiraling until we’re knee-deep in unanswered texts, unopened mail, or a pile of dishes we’ve been “meaning” to get to. Sometimes our social calendars stay blank because we just don’t have the bandwidth to “people.” Other times, we snap at someone we love and only then realize—oh yeah, we’re overstimulated as hell. Before we even know we’re in a spiral, we are reenacting opening scenes of Alice in Wonderland.
We live in a world that promotes toxic positivity—the idea that you should always “stay grateful” or “look on the bright side.” A world obsessed with #GoodVibesOnly and hustle culture, it’s easy to feel guilty for not being on your A-game all the time. And while yes, gratitude matters, so does honesty. Here’s the truth:
Healing isn’t linear.
And thank goodness, because if it were, I’d definitely be failing the course.
The Beautiful, Messy Chaos of Now
I love what I’m building here with the blog. It’s become such a powerful creative outlet. I’m in awe of my son’s drive—starting a company and charity at his age? Incredible.
But between life, work drama, car trouble, skyrocketing costs of just surviving, and the general unraveling of society… yeah. It’s a lot.
There’s no telling what’ll be the last straw. One day you’re riding the high of a great week, the next you’re mentally smashing plates in a rage room while smiling politely as your kid tells you about their Grow-a-Garden in Roblox.
Queue Limp Bizkit’s “Break Stuff.”
I try to stay positive. But I’m not positive all the time. That would make me a robot. Or worse—a liar.
Tools in the Toolbox: Grounding, Not Guilt
When your vibration feels low (yes, that’s a thing), there are ways to recalibrate:
Grounding: Think of it as returning to center. Walk barefoot in the grass, hold something earthy like a stone or tree, or just sit still and breathe. Earthing is a physical form of this—connecting with the actual ground to stabilize your nervous system.
Guided Meditation: Especially helpful if your brain (like mine) hosts an endless squirrel rave. I need someone telling me what to do every second or poof—I’m thinking about laundry and lizard people.
Frequency music: Sound vibrations can literally affect our energy. Playlists designed to balance brain waves, chakra tones, or healing frequencies can actually help ground you.
But sometimes? None of that helps until you feel the damn thing.
Embrace the Suck
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is sit in the suck.
Not because it’s fun. Not because it’s wise. Just because it’s honest.
There’s a time for growth and a time to just be. And sometimes what we’re being is pissed off, overwhelmed, or completely done.
This is why rage rooms were invented—because throwing a chair through a window is still frowned upon in most friend groups or work.
I heard someone say once, “Embrace the suck.” And yeah. Sometimes the only meaning in a crappy situation is that it’s crappy. And that’s okay. Let the grief, the frustration, the hurt pass through you.
Progress? I Made It to the Couch.
Here’s the truth: Climbing out of a dark space doesn’t mean you’ll summit a mountain the next day.
Sometimes “healing” looks like brushing your teeth and finally replying to that one text. Sometimes it’s making it to the couch instead of staying in bed. That’s progress. That’s something.
When you’re in the thick of it, give yourself the grace to move slowly. Rest is part of the climb. You don’t have to bounce back instantly.
Let your recovery be messy. Let it be human. Don’t expect miracles overnight—expect small, quiet steps in the direction of the light.
Laughing Through the Chaos (Yes, Really)
Storytime: My Personal Descent into Travel Hell
Let me take you back to a recent “everything is broken” moment: I was flying home from Galveston after a work trip.
Everything was smooth… until the way home and everything went wrong. Bad weather delayed my flight. Then I sat on the plane for an hour. Missed my connection in Dallas. Got stuck overnight. The airline only offered a discount for a hotel because weather = not their problem.
Fine. Whatever. I Uber to the hotel.
They don’t have my reservation.
Turns out—because of course—there are two hotels with the exact same name, one North, one South. I get rerouted. Get to the right one. Finally sleep.
Then the next morning, the shuttle driver goes MIA. My flight gets delayed again, gate changes again. By the end of the trip, I’m laughing like a lunatic. Because seriously—what else can you do?
Ironically, I had been reading The Power of Now on that trip. I think the universe was having a good chuckle. The absurdity of it all hit me like a sitcom montage. Was it frustrating? Absolutely. But I could either spiral or shift my mindset. That was the choice.
And no, this isn’t toxic positivity. This isn’t “just manifest a better day.” It’s about allowing yourself to feel the feelings—and then choosing what to do next. Choosing when and how to rise or to just laugh through it.
Positivity vs. Processing
I’m a firm believer in therapy, medication, support systems—the whole toolkit. Healing isn’t something you “think” your way into. But mindset? It’s a powerful piece.
I believe in mindset shifts. I believe in meditation and manifestation.
But I don’t believe in bypassing our pain.
You have to feel your feelings to heal them.
You don’t need to immediately hunt for the “lesson” or force yourself to move on. You’re allowed to grieve, scream into a pillow, hide in a blanket burrito, or mentally bench yourself for a few days.
Just promise me this: Process it.
Because unprocessed emotions? They don’t disappear. They just leak into places they don’t belong, like rage-snapping at your barista or crying over expired cottage cheese.
Healing Is Not a Straight Line—It’s a Spiral Staircase
Some days you’ll take two steps forward, then fall down the entire metaphorical escalator.
That’s okay.
Just like the mindset shift I had when I stopped asking, “Why is this happening to me?” and started asking, “Why am I letting these people/situations stay in my life?”
We all know that friend who wallows in misery and rejects every lifeline. We can offer help, but at the end of the day—we all make choices.
To feel our feelings without shame
To change what we tolerate
To rebuild after a breakdown
To decide what version of ourselves rises from the ashes
The Long Game of Healing
Healing isn’t a checklist.
It’s nonlinear. It’s chaotic. It’s messy and frustrating and often hard to explain.
But the way we alchemize our hardest moments—the way we turn pain into power—is what builds the life we’re working toward.
So no, I’m not always okay. But I’m always trying. And that counts for something.
Final Thoughts
So go ahead—embrace the suck when it hits.
Cry it out. Rage it out. Then laugh at the absurdity when you’re ready. And when you are? Reclaim your power. Rise like the resilient, sweatpants wearing, frequency-vibing phoenix that you are.
You don’t have to climb a mountain today. You just have to make it to the couch.
We’re not healing to be perfect.
We’re healing to be whole.
With love (and a little chaos),
Lauren
P.S. I’ll be sharing a poem (or maybe two) later this week tied to this theme—I’m just indecisive because I’ve written several that hit a little too close to home. Stay tuned and we can spiral poetically together.
