The Weight I Didn’t Know I Was Carrying
Fibromyalgia, Energy Healing, and Finally Listening to My Body
In January of 2014, I was finishing my master’s degree, working full-time, raising my then 3-year-old son as a single mom, and trying to push through the exhaustion with willpower and bad coffee. I had never liked coffee—honestly, the smell alone repulsed me—but I trained myself to tolerate it, like slowly introducing poison, just to keep going.
I knew something was off.
But I told myself I was just tired. Just overworked.
Pain? That was just part of life… right?
When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I rejected it completely. My mother had the same diagnosis—after years of being told it was lupus. I watched her suffer, struggle to function, and be shuffled through medications that never seemed to help. I couldn’t accept that was my path too.
So, I didn’t.
I ignored it.
I powered through the pain—roller derby injuries, gym workouts, broken tailbones, chipped bones—walking it off like a champ and chalking it up to being tough.
But I wasn’t just tough.
I was disconnected from my body.
Relearning Pain, Relearning Myself
Through pregnancy, injuries, and countless misdiagnoses—ADHD, depression, hypersomnia, insomnia—I told myself this was normal. It wasn’t until 2024, a full decade later, that I met a P.A. who finally connected the dots and looked me in the eye and said, “It’s time to take this seriously.”
He explained fibromyalgia as a neurological disorder, often tied to trauma and PTSD. He wasn’t dismissive or vague. He made it clear: This is real. This is in your body. And it deserves your attention.
That moment flipped a switch.
I dove into research like my life depended on it—because, in many ways, it did.
Suddenly, everything made sense.
The misfires. The exhaustion. The stubborn weight. The pain.
All the symptoms I had tried to manage separately… were deeply connected.
Healing Isn’t Just Clinical
With the right medication, a supportive new primary care doctor, and actual rest, my life started to shift. I lost 30 pounds. I had more energy. My mood lifted. My brain fog cleared. And I even got off some of the medications I’d been taking for years (under supervision, of course).
But that’s only part of the story.
The Wisdom of Ancient Healing
As I began learning about energy healing, I found myself looking backward as much as forward. Long before fibromyalgia had a clinical name, countless ancient tribes and healing traditions around the world already understood what many of us are just rediscovering—that illness isn’t just physical. It’s emotional. It’s spiritual.
In many cultures—from Indigenous tribes across the Americas to Chinese, Indian, and African traditions—pain was seen as a sign of imbalance in the energy body. Trauma was not simply a psychological event, but a soul injury, often treated with ceremony, energy work, bodywork, herbs, or ritual.
Practices like Reiki, cupping, acupuncture, and breathwork were rooted in the idea that healing must happen across all levels—physical, emotional, energetic, and spiritual. There was no shame in seeking healing. There was wisdom in it.
Enter Kodo—And The Session That Shifted Everything
Last month, an old friend from Maryland reached out. Jade, who had also been diagnosed years ago, had taken a more spiritual path and co-founded a holistic healing practice called The WooWrX. She invited me to try something I’d long been curious about: Reiki and intuitive energy healing.
What followed was a distance session guided by both Jade and her husband, combining elements of Reiki, chakra alignment, and deep energetic insight. It was something I didn’t realize how much I needed until it was happening.
They identified pain rooted in my root chakra—the exact place I carry physical pain in my hips and legs. They spoke truth into the silence I had lived with. They helped me release a weight I didn’t even realize I was still carrying.
After the session, my pain didn’t vanish, but it changed. My energy felt lighter. My breath, freer. I wasn’t just managing fibromyalgia—I was finally meeting it with presence.
Chakras, Science & The Grey Area
Since that session, life has done what life does—work trips, missed meds, everyday chaos—but something is different. The pain hasn’t returned in the same intensity. And the wild part? I noticed the shift before I even read their session notes.
Coincidence? Placebo? Maybe.
But healing isn’t black and white.
This is the grey space—where ancient knowledge and modern medicine don’t contradict each other… they complete each other.
We are more than bodies. We are energy. We are story.
And we are worthy of healing from all directions.
What I Want You to Take Away
If you're living with fibromyalgia or chronic illness—or even just unexplained exhaustion and disconnection—please, please be your own advocate. Doctors are knowledgeable, but they’re not omniscient. If your diagnosis doesn’t feel complete, keep digging. If your treatment isn’t helping, explore the spaces between.
Lean into your curiosity. Lean into the discomfort.
And when your body whispers—listen.
It might be telling you everything you need to know.
What’s Helped Me (So Far):
A supportive primary care provider who listens
A balanced medication and supplement routine
Researching the neurological & trauma links behind fibromyalgia
Reiki + energy healing (like Kodo through The WooWrX)
Letting go of shame and guilt for needing care
Honoring ancient healing practices with an open heart
This post isn’t medical advice. It’s my story.
It’s a reminder that we are not just pain.
We are not just labels.
We are not broken.
We are building—slowly, gently, beautifully.
With love & healing,
Lauren
Resources
Reclaiming Your Energy & Listening to Your Body Reading List
Reclaiming Your Energy & Listening to Your Body Journal Prompts
